Granny at 30?

The federal statistical office and deutsche bank on vertical and horizontal procreation

Among other important topics such as "laying hen husbandry and egg production" or "traffic accidents" in the june ie of economy and statistics, the federal statistical office destatis deals with germany’s favorite occupation: avoiding having children. And deutsche bank explains in its english-language newsletter that german women have even more children vertically than horizontally.

Last year, two friends of mine became pregnant – the first child at 38 and. 39. "How is that reflected statistically?", i ask myself since then.

Sure, each has one child. But if both had a child with 20 instead of only with 40, the statistics had to look actually differently, because if each woman gets a child with 20 instead of with 40, one has one child per woman, but twice as many children.

Fortunately destatis has now put an end to my sleepless nights. The "birth rate" (horizontal) is lower than the "number of children" (vertical). The former reflects the number of births in a year per fertile woman, the latter the average number of children per woman. In other words, the late childbearing among germans has always been indicated with.

So while a german woman actually has 1.6 children, the birth rate has been 1.3 to 1.4 for 30 years because german women get pregnant so late: in 1973 on average already at 26.8, but in 2003 only at 29.6.

For comparison: the "birth rate", reflects the number of births per 1,000.000 inhabitants. Even if wikipedia wants to understand this birth rate as a synonym of the birth rate, destatis uses the number of women of childbearing age, not the number of inhabitants. At the end of the 1990s, germany had 9 births per 1,000 inhabitants, while the usa, for example, had 14.

Head start through ovulation

"Germans must be paid to have children?", i hear again and again from astonished americans, to whom i try to explain the german social system. Despite child benefits, 20% of germans will be over 65 in 2009. The americans will not achieve this until 2036.

Maybe it is because the germans are too "reason" are. Eventually the earth will not bear any more of us. Human children: a plague on the earth. Is it still ecologically justifiable to have children?? In a consumer country of europe or north america of all places? It is necessary to eradicate this humanity..

Since the number of immigrants has been reduced because of germanism ("not a country of immigration"), the birth rate had to be increased as soon as possible in order to save this country from aging. For all those who want to save the earth not for themselves but for later generations of people, i propose a program – loosely based on the u.S. Southern motto: if it’s old enough to bleed, it’s old enough to breed.

At the age of 15, if i remember correctly, you are not able to concentrate on learning at all. Why do we torment these hormone cocktail-ridden young adults in school at all?? As the church father augustine once said, just before he left his family and moved to the desert to be closer to god and his fugitives (and thus to serve as a good example to later generations of young priests)? "Give me chastity – but not yet". At least the youngster had enough sense to realize that he was still too young and horny to become a drunk.

For that you wish – i remember it better – the bursting strength of a 15 year old, when you have to take a screaming child in your arms every two hours at night at the age of 30.

Nevertheless, a pregnant girl at school is considered a catastrophe, not the salvation of the country. Later, as a young professional or student, children don’t fit either, you have to prove yourself first. "It does not fit that i have a child now", is heard everywhere — as if children would fit at some point. The whole thing is postponed until nature no longer takes part. Parents probably learn more from their children than vice versa.

I therefore propose to prohibit birth control until one has at least two children. You could drop out of school at the age of 15, and at the age of 20, you will have your second job. At that age you have enough strength for this task, just as nature intended. Later – maybe at the age of 25 – you can finish your school and your studies, because by then your eldest was almost fertile, and you were happy to finally be able to study and you knew what you wanted to do. By the time you start your career, you’re 30 anyway – and soon you’ll have grandchildren.

When you have not only children but also grandchildren at the age of 30, you certainly approach your work differently. After all, not only were you still completely broke at 30, but you also knew what you were working for. Since you had gotten along without money for so long, there was really no reason why you should be individualistic now.

Sure: the man of the first time is not necessarily the one for life, but in view of the unstoppable increase in the number of divorces, neither is the godfather. If my plan is implemented, many things may not be better, but everything will be different.

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